Shut the F*ck Up - 9 Things You Need To Avoid Mentioning At A Party
We all dread that small talk that comes with attending get togethers, house parties, engagements and reunions where we are unfortunately forced to create that heinous exchange in conversation with those that we would really rather avoid.
There comes a certain etiquette with the chit-chat at these particular events - and it's a strict guideline. Unless you prefer to stand in that corner by yourself..
Read on for the top nine things you should probably avoid mentioning next time you're seven mimosa's down and table-dancing to Shania Twain.
1. So You're Still Single?
Yes, I am.
And no, I don't need you reminding me of it.
Unless the singletons mention they are now in fact dating and coercing in a joyous relationship - chances are they aren't and they don't particularly want to speak about the countless Tinder and Bumble dates they've been on this week whilst you carry on about your incredible beau of 3.7 years and counting.
Maybe leave that one at home. Carry on.
2. Remember How Popular You Were in High School? ....Oh Never Mind.
If you're still reminiscing on that time Joe chose you over Stacey back in 8th grade - you aren't doing so well.
Any regular and sane human usually has forgotten about their popularity status from 12 years ago - you're encouraged to do the same.
3. Your Finances, My Finances - Anyone's Finances.
Some have money, some don't... what's best is to never, ever discuss the financial situations anyone is in right now.
Those who do have money, and talk about how much money they have, are otherwise known as arseholes. I won't deny that I'm happy for you if you're blessed financially - but please don't brag about it. You look like a dick.
4. Politics - AKA (possibly the most boring topic of conversation there is)
To be frank, no one really cares for which political side you stand by, or the reasons for it.
If you're going to argue about the current state of the government, you might want to consider leaving the party because you're boring everyone right now.
5. Why You Don't Have Social Media and Consider It Satan
We're aware of the difficulties that come with social media, but God damn it's 2017 and if you haven't succumbed to the millennial era of Snapchat, Facebook and the Gram - I'm happy for you.
(But shut up).
6. The Bizarre Skin Rash You Currently Have
If this is the epitome of exciting in your life right now, I'd rather not know about it.
And that goes for any other diagnosed or undiagnosed odd health concerns.
Keep those deetz to yourself, babe.
7. How Much Your Things Are Costing You
Refer to point #3.
Congrats if you just bought yourself a shiny Lamborghini or a brand new LV handbag - bragging about your materialistic possessions only makes you look quite small-minded.
